Kanhaji gives me strength

Dealing with a death in the family is very difficult. I keep feeling like I will see my grandfather when I go to that house. I keep thinking that my dad should go visit him, take food for him. I feel like it didn't really happen and that people were playing a joke on me. Now I only have one grandparent - my Nannee. My Daada is gone to join my Naana and Ajee. I know that Daadee and Daada will be together again and will look down on us happily but the whole thing about death is that we will never see them again. That is the hardest part. Ten years after Daadee has died I keep feeling like I will see her around at family functions. I keep thinking that she is there but we just can't see her. And I guess that's true but I wish that I could see her, that I could see him, that I could see them all.
Kanhaji has helped me so much, I don't know what I would do without Him. His face enters my memory whenever I close my eyes and I know that He is watching over my family and I. It hurts though. But knowing that You are with me Kanha, is the only thing that is really helping because everyone is enveloped in their own private grief. We are all trying to deal with it as best as we can. But I know that I can turn to You Kanha, whenever I want to. Thank You for Your love, Your protection and most of all, Your strength.
The picture I have included shows Kanhaji playing his Bansuri and this picture always serves to keep me calm and help me to realize that I should put all my trust in Him. Kanhaji, thank You for Your love for me. Thank You for taking care of me and keeping me safe always. Jai Shri Krishna!